Hi Y'all,
It has been a while since I have actually posted a "note" here, and as I was reading last night I felt as though I should share an excerpt from my book. I am currently reading "Daring Greatly", the title is based on Theodore Roosevelt's "Citizenship in a Republic" (AKA "Man in the Arena" speech). It is an interesting book (once you muddle through the research stuff) about vulnerability, fear, courage, and well, Daring Greatly...getting off the sidelines and in the arena, even though you may be vulnerable, etc. etc... Long story semi-short, I reached a section called "The Shield: Numbing", and felt that it was too profound not to share. Here it is, in short:
"If you are wondering if this section is about addiction and you are thinking THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME, please read on. This is about all of us. First, one of the most universal numbing strategies is what I call CRAZY BUSY." (ya heard?)
"I often say that when they start 12 step meetings for busy-aholics, they'll need to rent out football stadiums. We are a culture of people who've bought into the idea that if we are busy enough, the truth of our lives won't catch up with us. Second, statistics dictate that there are very few people who haven't been affected by addiction. I believe we all numb our feelings. We may not do it compulsively and chronically (which is addiction), but it doesn't mean that we don't numb our sense of vulnerability...this is especially debilitating because numbing vulnerability doesn't just deaden the pain of difficult experiences, but also our love, joy, belonging, creativity, and empathy. We can't selectively numb our emotions; if you numb the dark, you also numb the light. If you are wondering if numbing refers to doing illegal drugs, or having a few drinks after work (or excess sugar, too much food, too many prescription pills, too much espresso, 60 hour work weeks, etc.), the answer is YES!...Americans are more debt-ridden, obese, medicated, addicted than we have ever been. For the first time in history, the CDC moved automobile accidents down to the second leading cause of accidental deaths. The leading cause? Drug overdose! More people die from PRESCRIPTION drug overdose than heroin, cocaine, and meth use combined...we are desperate to feel less or more of something- to make something go away, or have more of something else...the research shows that most of the numbing comes from a feeling of inadequacy and less- than, but the most powerful need for numbing was shame, anxiety, and disconnection. People feel like they need to be smarter, stronger, prettier...we may have a couple hundred FB friends, but we feel alone and unseen...we are hard-wired for CONNECTION, so disconnection creates pain- pain we want to numb...disconnection leads to isolation and people will do almost anything to escape that pain..." The next section Brown explores finding comfort and cultivating spirit and the top 3 things her research revealed about truly happy, wholehearted people were how they manage these trying situations. "1. They learn how to actually FEEL their feelings; 2. Staying mindful about their own numbing behaviors; 3. Learning how to lean into the discomfort of hard emotions..."
I have to say, that although I have never used a drug in my life, I am the queen of "crazy-busy". It can be tough to stop, be still, and look at your life- but I am learning ;-) Although I have always had a solid faith foundation (which has helped me through many tough journeys) , I must say that yoga has helped me to become more mindful, more present, more aware (more fit, more joyful, more connected, etc., etc. lol ;-). I have a great group of friends and family, yet there have been times in my own life that I felt very alone (think autism), yet I always had my faith to sustain me. I can't imagine not having that resource. I am definitely no therapist, counselor, pastor, or wise master, but I know that life can be tough-- if you know someone struggling, reach out to them- don't isolate them. We are hard-wired for connection...Just felt the need to share :-)
Y'all Be Well,
Lori
